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Happy Thanksgiving!

Another year gone by and there is so much to be thankful for personally and as a country. There are, of course, the obvious things to be thankful for.

I am thankful that my family and I are all healthy.

I am thankful for all the material blessings bestowed upon us.

I am thankful to be surrounded by so many loving friends and family.

I am thankful that we live in a country that has a big heart.

There are also many less obvious things to be thankful for.

I am thankful that I don't have to learn French. (If J.F. Kerry had won the election, French would have replaced Spanish as our national language faster than you can say French-Canadian.) Muchas, muchas gracias.

I am thankful that there are no hockey fights on TV. It's bad enough to have to watch all the fights during the football games, basketball games, and the increasingly violent award shows. And speaking of award shows...

I'm thankful that ABC decided to stop televising the Miss America Pagent. With violence and vulgarity permeating virtually every award show these days, it's hard to imagine airing that program any longer. Women working toward world peace will just have to find another outlet for all that pent up hostility.

I am thankful that I have Michael Powell and the FCC to make sure that my family and I are protected from having to see women's bare backs and legs on TV. Hopefully the women on Desperate Housewives will not be able to go out in public without their burqas anymore.

I am thankful that John Ashcroft has resigned so that we can remove the sheets from all the statues in Washington. Sorry. I forgot about all the things I was thankful for in the previous paragraph. And finally,

I am thankful that Martha Stewart is locked up this Thanksgiving. Our Thanksgiving dinner always seemed so inadequate after watching her prepare her Thanksgiving feast. I feel safer too.

Happy Thanksgiving Everybody!

Posted by Rick | November 23, 2004 11:36 PM

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